I like to do this classic thought-provoker (the Vanity Fair incarnation, at least) every now and then, after a few years have passed or things have shifted. In this instance it's a bit of both.
What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A little library, on
my own, surrounded by books, but with the people who matter most within walking
distance. Oh and it’s autumn, jumpers and scarves and long coats weather.
What is your greatest fear?
I’m terrified of long-term health conditions to the point of being swamped with anxiety at slight chest pains sometimes. Weirdly, I don’t care so much about actually dying.
What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Overthinking. See previous answer - I would love to worry less about things.
What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Unkindness.
Which living person do you most admire?
I know someone who is 100% herself every day of her life. It’s fascinating, compelling, and deserving of all the respect in the world. She might not always be the best person, but she’s always herself.
What is your greatest extravagance?
I don’t think I have any true extravagances. Coffee is probably the closest. I do get a lil’ extra about language if you get me going on a prescriptivism/descriptivism debate.
What is your current state of mind?
There’s more emotional turmoil than there has been for a while, but overall it’s good. I have a fire to do things, to get healthy, to succeed as a writer, to get a better job. It might not be coming from the healthiest place but that’s the point of trying to channel it to good ends, right?
What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
I don’t think temperance is a true virtue, it’s more a thing we tell ourselves we should do out of guilt from enjoying things too much. That guilt probably comes from a social pressure or some other sort of complex, oh no, don’t eat all of that massive chocolate bar, you’ll get fat, and you won’t feel good about being fat – but that’s a whole different issue. Just eat the goddamn bar, and enjoy it without guilt. I’m not saying I always do this.
On what occasion do you lie?
When truth’s outcome would be worse. But even then I’d rather tell it. Also sometimes, when it would just take so much longer to explain the truth and it’s about something frivolous that won’t matter – like in a ‘what are you up to’ situation. It’s just nice to not talk sometimes.
What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My hair has hated me my entire life and I hate it back.
Which living person do you most despise?
There are so many
easy targets for this, like Trump, but I think I don’t know the man whom I most
despise: I just know that he’s out there somewhere, rich and influential,
ensuring that the world continues to run in a such a way that it funnels money
to him and keeps people from rising up to say something about that. I truly, truly hate that guy.
What is the quality you most like in a man?
Thoughtfulness.
What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Passion. Not just in the obvious sense given the framing of the question - I mean in the sense of feeling strongly about things, believing in things that matter.
Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I’ve recently become keenly aware of every use of the word alas, but I don’t think I overuse it. I definitely use decent a lot, but we became self-aware about it and looped it back around to being a meme, so I’m not sure that counts anymore either.
What or who is the greatest love of your life?
A memory’s never finished as long as we’re alive, so how can anyone answer this question? I’ve been through peaks and troughs with great and little loves alike, and even when I thought I didn’t need for any more I’ve found myself proven wrong. The lesson is that life always has more surprises. I know that’s not really an answer. That’s a choice.
When and where were you happiest?
I don’t think there’s a particular length of time that qualifies, but every now and then there’s a moment, that comes in a snatch and blasts by but stays with you forever. In those moments, and their memory, is when I, at least, am happiest.
As Terry Pratchett put it: “against one perfect moment, the centuries beat in vain.”
Which talent would you most like to have?
I’m not sure it could be considered a talent, but the drive to constantly keep myself fit would sure be useful. Also, I once had a dream of being a watchmaker, and I haven’t given that up yet.
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I’d change my hair to one that doesn’t hate me and might make it to my forties.
What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Writing a book was pretty good, but it might actually now be what I managed to accomplish in my three years running a SEN-focused library. I actually brought some good to the world.
If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
Haa what a silly question. I think I’d be a cat, they have it pretty good.
Where would you most like to live?
I’ve been in love
with Italy since I was a teenager. Either there or the Pacific Northwest. And
maybe a summer home on Svalbard, another place I’m eternally fascinated by. Wherever it is, there need to be mountains.
What is your most treasured possession?
A horrible nightmarish Totoro-esque stuffed toy that the students at the college made; when I saw it on their sale stall I knew it had to be mine. It blasts right through haunting horror back around to cute and I love it more than anything.
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
There’s a feeling of loss that comes after a love that scorches the world, and it was enough to put me off the whole idea of that level of love for, like, ten years. So yeah, that.
What is your favorite occupation?
Anything in a library.
What is your most marked characteristic?
I would hope it’s empathy. That’s the thing I try to project and react from a position of the most. It’s that or sarcasm and sass, or, if I’m to take this physically, probably wearing glasses.
What do you most value in your friends?
Constancy; we don’t always see each other and don’t always need each other, but when we do see each other it’s like we’ve never been apart, and when we do need each other, we’re there.
Who are your favorite writers?
My favourite books are The Princess Bride and Catch-22 so I have to give a nod to William Goldman and Joseph Heller, but I think Terry Pratchett will always win overall for the depth and breadth of sheer, loving, humanism that winds through his entire Discworld output.
Who is your hero of fiction?
Sam Vimes. How did I describe him recently? 1 min – “he's flawed and he knows it and doesn't shy from facing said flaws and trying to be better, and his stubborn commitment to doing the right thing is strong enough to intimidate actual demons”. Yeahhhh.
Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I have never in any way attempted to draw parallels between myself and a historical figure lol. I can’t really know what they were like, can I? This is a mad path to a parasocial end.
Who are your heroes in real life?
Pterry. I’m not one to cry when celebrities die, but that one still makes me sad today.
What are your favorite names?
Oh, so many. Abigail. Eira. Freya. Lyra. Polly. Sophie. Violet. Ivy. Yes, they’re all girls’ names, boys are fucking boring.
What is it that you most dislike?
I said this for another answer, but it’s true here too: unkindness. There’s never reason to not be kind. I’m not saying I always succeed at it, but I always try.
What is your greatest regret?
I stumbled around a lot early on in life, choosing a weird path through education, and though I saw some things and travelled some places I don’t feel like I made the most of that I could. But then if it’s all part of what led me to where I am now, I can’t regret it that much.
How would you like to die?
Uh peacefully would be good. But if it has to be dramatic then at least let it be in the service of helping someone else – and absolutely as dramatic as it can possibly be!
What is your motto?
Normalise kindness! omg it actually is my motto isn’t it, that’s so lame
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